If you’re reading this, you’re probably a grubby little Freshman about to take on the world of college. If not, maybe the caption brought you in. Maybe you’re just lost. Doesn’t matter. Everyone is welcome.
Schools kicks off anywhere from now to Early September depending on where you’re going, and this list will hopefully give you a leg up on all of the other mindless monkeys about to enter the sub-human level between high schooler and functioning adult. What a time to be alive.
Start scouting out potential roommates:
Unless your school keeps you pinned in the dorms, you’ll probably be looking for houses/apartments for your delinquent asses to ruin Sophomore-Senior year. Regardless, keep an eye out for potential roommates. People with similar sleep schedules. Similar majors. If you go out every weekend, find people who go out. We usually started planning next year in November or December. Shit comes fast. Make sure you live with the people you want to live with.
Take it easy on the textbooks:
I spent about $450 my Freshman year on books and about $350 of them were never opened. They made a decent coaster, were a complete waste of money. All professors say you need the book. The vast majority of the time, you don’t. Wait until you have your first assignment before you get the book or share it with a friend.
Go to class you moron:
You don’t need perfect attendance. Not even close in most cases. Aim for like 80%. If you’re floating around there, this isn’t for you. This is for the kid named Todd who takes Geebs in the dorm bathrooms and hasn’t gone to class in 9 days. You’re paying a shit ton of money to go to school so don’t waste your time if you’re not going to go to class. At least watch some netflix or take a nap in the back.
Work Smart Not Hard:
If you’re 90% of majors, you probably won’t be in the library 10 hours a day. Join a club or get an internship. Having 2-3 big time resume-boosters over the 4 years in much more important than GPA. Rather than killing yourself at the library until 3AM to get an A, soak a B and open up your schedule a bit. You can get some experience and make some connections which will help you land a decent job down the road. Just have something that prevents you from cracking a beer around noon 6 days a week.
Work on your “Human” skills:
Let’s play 2 truths and a lie:
I didn’t know how to boil water entering my Freshman year
I didn’t know how to boil water entering my Sophomore year
I primarily used the Microwave for survival for the first 18 years of my life
Got your answer? They’re all truths. Not a single lie. Got your ass. Seriously though, try to learn the basics. How to cook eggs, make pasta, do laundry, etc. College dining halls only go so far and microwave meals every night is rough.
Fake ID
Basically every college student has a fake at this point. Whether or not it looks like an index card, it’ll probably work at a few bars/clubs/sketchy gas stations. That’s all you need to have a good time.
Start scouting out spring break destinations:
Everyone should enjoy as many spring breaks as humanly possible. I went to Florida every year and it was always an absurdly fun time. My first year I waited until 2 weeks before and spent about $1,200. After that the most I spent was like $500. Don’t be Freshman Mitch. Get your squad together and start looking around Winter Break. You’ll a get better flight and a nicer hotel.
Enjoy your Freshman year:
If you’re doing college right, you’ll be progressively busier every year. Year 1, your course work will likely be a ton of Gen-Eds/100—level classes that 90% of can be completed with Quizlet. As a new student with no life skills, you’re going to be at the bottom of the totem pole in basically everything you do, meaning you have very little responsibility. Your biggest stress? It will likely be avoiding alcohol poisoning on your favorite club’s 25 cent drink night. If you want to go out Thursday-Saturday every week, go for it. It’s not going to get easier as an upperclassman.
